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Attitude

I've recently posted some nasty stuff on Facebook commenting on certain people's show of "attitude" both online and offline. Kids these days think they're way cooler when they call themselves "bitches" and "bastards" and refer to each other with such endearments. Yet, when the words are actually uttered in their truest sense, they get insulted and parade all their "drama queen antics" all over Facebook or to anyone who'd want to listen as if they're the most important people in the world. They're just so full of themselves and it gets to me sometimes and mind you, I don't easily get annoyed especially since I do handle lots of people on a day to day basis. To those of you wondering, I work as a part-time college instructor in a private college here. I teach marketing, economics and a bit of literature. Only the fun stuff. Hehe!

So anyway, I've come to realize that in a world that teaches us that life is a race, people will inevitably run fast to get ahead of each other. It doesn't even matter if they knew what actual race they're on or what they're racing against and what they do to get past another. As long as people tell them they have a time to limit to do something, they will run. I see that everyday among friends, students, even colleagues. No one pauses. And because life is a race, people have made up thousands of ridiculous ways to get ahead. It doesn't even matter who they hurt and what kind of evil monster they've turned themselves into. Plus people think you'll run faster if you stand out and so many people come up with insane ways to rebel against status quo not minding the kind of legacy they're leaving to the world. It's a cookie-cutter world they say and it pays not to follow the mold. So everyday, people do everything they can the get out of the mold not realizing everyone else is doing the same. 

And what do you get after all these struggles? Exhausted people. People who run through life half-asleep. People who no longer smell the air and feel the breeze. People who go out on the beach and yet go home more exhausted than they've ever been. Then you get couples who need thousands of adrenaline-rush activities to do together to bond and stay in their idea of a marriage. This is the society we've created because we unwittingly run a race that does not even exist.

I was once that kind of person. Everyday it's a struggle to see people running past me in my own idea of a race. So what do I do? I give everyone attitude, pretending that I loved my life and having that "to hell with the world" mantra. I thought I was cooler that way. Then I realized what a lame poser I was, being a bad ass when all I wanted was some signal, some recognition that I actually mattered. Isn't that why we're struggling to be different than everyone else? 

Then I encountered Jesus. Jesus, who chose to love me and all of me without any condition; and who loved me anyway despite all my excesses and shortcomings. Jesus' life has been marked with love. He tells us that to genuinely love a person is to give them love even if they don't deserve it. He also reminds us that to truly love Him and His Father, is to always, always act in love. It doesn't matter what you get out of it. He said it is easy to love lovable people but what about your enemies? Can you love those that hurt you and those that don't necessarily matter to you? When He gave His life, it was for EVERYONE. It doesn't matter if people receive His love or not, He gives it anyway. 

So this sunny season, may we reflect on what kind of life we are living. Are we running too fast or is life a leisure walk in the park? Do you actually enjoy every waking moment because you do or you need to see someone else's misery in order to be happy? An idiot (from the Bollywood Film 3 Idiots, which is another story) once said, don't run after success; instead, be passionate about what you do and strive for excellence so that success will run after you. I choose to honor God this way, and experience Jesus' love this way -- to never settle for mediocrity because He died so I can live a life worthy of heaven while here on earth. I don't need to stand out because my Father in heaven knows that I do. So I will embrace each opportunity to get to know of His love deeper and let others experience that as well.

Defense + Summer

I can almost smell the summer breeze. I've taken yet another hiatus and this is because my students are going through their final defense for the first part of their research study. I used to hate this part of the school year when I was a student. Every year there seems to be one important paper that will make or break you. And if you're graduating that's triple the pressure because there is no next semester for a chance at a rebound nor will there be removals. There are countless of sleepless nights and cup noodle-dinner days that you'd have to endure to get to the finish line. I was looking forward to becoming one of the advisers whom in my opinion before would just sit down, eat (some cases I've seen), and critique. But I was dead wrong.

This is my first taste of becoming one and it's driving me crazy. Seven groups are under me right now and I have to guide them every step of the way. And my OC-ness is kicking in too plus the pressure of doing this the first time. Most of the advisers have known the panelists for quite a while now (apparently they're the same panelists every year) and they know what exactly to expect. They said that the panelists ask almost the same questions so the others know what to anticipate. But here I am groping in the dark. Hopefully I've given enough and done enough for my students. It doesn't help too that most of them are such scaredy cats. I told them to trust themselves by trusting God. It was a nice opportunity to pray for them and remind them that God desires that they prosper and have a future. First defense officially commences tomorrow. And since I am the first adviser to help my students finish their papers, all groups under me are going on their defense earlier than everyone else. So tonight I'll be coaching and praying. God bless us all!

Aftermath

Adam Lambert's Aftermath (acoustic version) has been on a constant replay both in my mind and on my iPod. Our city is along a coastline and we were in the middle of conducting a High School recollection when the Tsunami Alert Level II was issued and everyone was asked to immediately leave the school premises and run for safety. A little exaggeration there but there actually was a mild panic yesterday especially in the low-lying areas of our city. And we were really asked to leave and postpone for the nth time the scheduled recollection. I had to break the news to the students in the middle of our getting-to-know session and I was asked by a rather panicky teacher not to make the students panic. So I made the announcement and prayed over everyone for comfort and peace knowing that God is sovereign. If it was His will that we be spared, then all's good. However, if it truly is His will that we experience nature's wrath then I hold on to His promise that He will never leave nor forsake us.

The tsunami came and went. Thankfully, we were spared because the waves that hit us were no more than a meter high. But the devastation in Japan is heart-wrenching. It makes me really sad to know that the city/town of Sendai was badly hit too. That city holds a special place in my heart because my Dad bought me a wooden Sendai doll when I was a little girl and I've always wanted to check out the city in the future someday. But, in the aftermath of all this tragedy, I am reminded by Adam Lambert in is fantastic vocals, that we are not alone. And so, even though this song is about identity and self-acceptance which is what Adam's charity is all about, I dedicate it to the country and people I love so much. The song reminds us of LOVE. Love that will make us rise again and remind us that indeed in the aftermath, WE ARE NOT ALONE.

Renewed

(image via Sheena Loves Sunsets)

It's been a while since I last posted here. I can't believe how many times I've actually began a blog entry with that sentence but there's always a point in my life where I just bounce from place to place, blogs to blogs, careers to other careers and even from one venture to another.

I am about to begin another project yet again and this has been something that I've been praying for since the day I decided to settle in my hometown. I teach in a private college here as a part-time instructor and can honestly say that throughout my professional life, I've never seen a bunch of people so discouraged and unmotivated to be everything God created them to be. I was brought up to dream big. There's a Filipino joke that says the only thing that's free is our dreams so we might as well put it to good use and dream the biggest of dreams. Unfortunately, that concept is foreign to my students. I begin each of my classes by asking my students what they want to be after graduation and most of them would tell me that they'd be willing to settle for any job as long the pay gets them through the day. Whatever happened to pursuing what you're passionate about; to seeking out your promised land? Apparently, that is no longer how the world works today and because of so many reasons, people now live simply in order to survive. Surviving no matter how passion-less is living and that is how it's going to be unless someone does something.

And so it is for this reason that I, together with three of my students, decided to begin meeting together and hopefully soon meet with other students as well to encourage each other in order to be reminded of how precious we are in the sight of God, who sent His son to die for us so that we can be all that He designed us to be. Psalm 149 verse 14 declares,

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Each of us is meant to impact the world in different ways. It doesn't matter if the dent we make is big or small -- the point is we are all wired to leave a dent onto this earth for the glory of His name.

Our meetings began two Saturdays ago. There is no strategy as of yet; and there isn't really a formal system at work. We've decided to just choose to love the way Jesus did and begin our ministry from where He began His and that is with love and compassion for everyone.